The Choice, on Radio 4, hypnotic listening this morning about a man who is a Romany gypsy but who lived a very hard childhood in his community because of the expectations and temper of his father. It was almost like going through therapy with him, as he answered questions about his life.
In short (and I will read the book, I've already flicked a couple of pages in Waterstones) the boy was expected to be a fighter like his con man father. The family had a reputation as fighters.
Reminded me of a couple if guys in the church the other week. The were tapping and chatting to everyone throughout the service. I was hoping that my son would not take this as being ok. One of them, in front of me in the line to Communion, turned and remarked that he's not seen us before, and asked if we were new. I just nodded & smiled and he replied, 'You'll get used to us....we're a Family', he emphasised, spreading his hands as if he might have instead meant the mafia..unfortunately, yes, the Romany community do get confused with bad 'uns, because the only contact the general community has with them is usually through the process of getting ripped off re. dodgy drive laying etc. and no other example shown. I'm sure this is a very disproportionate view.
Unfortunately for the boy, he did not live up to his father's expectations, and didn't respond to his father's 'toughening up' procedures as hoped. He is, in fact, gay, and could not have been worse placed as this society does not accept homosexuality. He had a really miserable time, although bitter sweeet as he still has much love and respect for his Romany community, although The Choice he made was to leave the unbearable endurances which were unending. Regular beatings were understandably wearing thin. He'd met someone who wanted to save him, although, he was only around 15+ years old and the man did not understand that to take the son of the hard man of the local Romanies would mean much misery for him. It took 3 weeks for him to give up and then he took Gypsy boy to another town and 'dropped him off'.
Now here is the remarkable thing. This boy had the Romany way entrenched into him. He was little educated. He had no-one and nothing. The boy got a job in a burger bar and went to the bank to open an account to have wages paid in. He had no former address. He explained his plight to the bank worker and she took pity and used her own address to get him an account, Bless her for that!!
He did not wallow, he got up off his backside and educated himself. He applied for a place at a Royal renowned arts and drama college and actually got in, flippin 'eck more than I could hope for with my stable background! He was trained for 3 years and wrote his book.
Hearing him speaking so low because he was sobbing was so very touching. I am a champion of the underdog, for life, having seen the struggles of my blessed parents. I have so much respect for him, and it just shows how amazing people with no priveliges and rotten role models can be the strongest. this man deserves health, happiness and success.
In short (and I will read the book, I've already flicked a couple of pages in Waterstones) the boy was expected to be a fighter like his con man father. The family had a reputation as fighters.
Reminded me of a couple if guys in the church the other week. The were tapping and chatting to everyone throughout the service. I was hoping that my son would not take this as being ok. One of them, in front of me in the line to Communion, turned and remarked that he's not seen us before, and asked if we were new. I just nodded & smiled and he replied, 'You'll get used to us....we're a Family', he emphasised, spreading his hands as if he might have instead meant the mafia..unfortunately, yes, the Romany community do get confused with bad 'uns, because the only contact the general community has with them is usually through the process of getting ripped off re. dodgy drive laying etc. and no other example shown. I'm sure this is a very disproportionate view.
Unfortunately for the boy, he did not live up to his father's expectations, and didn't respond to his father's 'toughening up' procedures as hoped. He is, in fact, gay, and could not have been worse placed as this society does not accept homosexuality. He had a really miserable time, although bitter sweeet as he still has much love and respect for his Romany community, although The Choice he made was to leave the unbearable endurances which were unending. Regular beatings were understandably wearing thin. He'd met someone who wanted to save him, although, he was only around 15+ years old and the man did not understand that to take the son of the hard man of the local Romanies would mean much misery for him. It took 3 weeks for him to give up and then he took Gypsy boy to another town and 'dropped him off'.
Now here is the remarkable thing. This boy had the Romany way entrenched into him. He was little educated. He had no-one and nothing. The boy got a job in a burger bar and went to the bank to open an account to have wages paid in. He had no former address. He explained his plight to the bank worker and she took pity and used her own address to get him an account, Bless her for that!!
He did not wallow, he got up off his backside and educated himself. He applied for a place at a Royal renowned arts and drama college and actually got in, flippin 'eck more than I could hope for with my stable background! He was trained for 3 years and wrote his book.
Hearing him speaking so low because he was sobbing was so very touching. I am a champion of the underdog, for life, having seen the struggles of my blessed parents. I have so much respect for him, and it just shows how amazing people with no priveliges and rotten role models can be the strongest. this man deserves health, happiness and success.
Hi.
ReplyDeleteI came over here from MadPriest's place after your recent comment.
This is an extremely moving post. I'm not sure I would have the inner fortitude to read the book but I'm very glad to know about this man. Blessings on him.